"In Just" EE Cummings
The poet starts off with "when the world is mud luscious "{lines 2&3} it gives you a happy feeling spring rain children playing running happy to be outside but evil lurks around the corner with the balloonman.
Lines "the little lame balloonman whistles far and wee"{lines 4,5,6}. He wants to give you a sense of the children seeing him in the background holding balloons that the children become so excited they stop what ever they are playing to run over and get one. Each stanza he becomes more scary than the next he becomes the "queer old balloonman" {lines 11 &12}.Finally he becomes "the goat footed balloonman" [lines 20&21}. He is not out in the open selling or giving away his balloons he is in the background whistling wee giving false pretense of a happy man wanting to make children happy.
In conclusion the balloonman being a grotesque figure as a chid had no one to play with he just watched as innocent games such as marbles hop-scotch jump-rope were played by other children but not him so the balloons are a decoy to lure the children away and rob them of their fun and innocence.
Overall, Lois I like you essay. Here is the scoring I have come up with and why.
ReplyDeleteCritical thinking: 4 It's a good start and the thesis statement really grabs my attention, however i feel like it could be a little more developed.
Organization: 4 Great flow, just lacking a bit on the into. The body and conclusion are well organized and thought out.
Evidence: 5 well cited, evidence of the changing balloonman is well illustrated in your essay. great job
language: 4 clear sentence structure, and strong voice in the piece
mechanics: 3 don't forget about commas they can really be your friend.
Overall, language choices and style is good. The organization needs some assistance. Also, analysis and response pieces need more than just the synopsis of what was written. What brought you the conclusion you have about the poem. That evidence of devices, etc, is necessary to make it into an analysis essay.
ReplyDeleteCritical Thinking: 4 I can see that you are there. However, I the ideas need to be put a little more fully on paper.
Organization: 3 Work on transition sentences and the thesis statement itself. The introduction and conclusion can be flushed out more. Also, you have more ideas that one body paragraph offers. As you give this information and clarity, you will find yourself needing time to explain why it went from happy to creepy.
Evidence: 4 good job with identify quotes and explaining them. However, review your MLA formatting.
Language: 4 As you flush out the explanations, this will be a 5
Mechanics: 4 A few errors throughout the essay; however, nothing that caused serious problems.